Listen to the Music

Hello Friends,

A few months ago I started a second job in a home improvement retail establishment. The purpose of the job is to eliminate once and for all the never-ending student loan debt and get on with life. Recently I posted the following Facebook status update regarding my experience in retail:

“The worst thing about working in retail is the incredibly depressing music played over and over and over and over and over and over and over . . .”

It doesn’t take me long at work before I really wish that idiot who sings “Cross my heart and hope to die . . .” would. Or the reason you don’t have a girl like Jessie’s girl is because it is just creepy to sing about wanting Jessie’s girl. No girl in her right mind would go near you.

Many of you, who also work in the retail world, agreed with my assessment of the audio work environment. Since my original post I have continued to reflect on the phenomenon of employee and customer torture used by retail establishments across the world and came to some revolutionary insights. Okay, maybe they aren’t that earth shattering, but it’s my post so I can call it what I want.

The first nugget of wisdom I discovered is a little equation you can use to determine the level of service you can anticipate receiving in any given retail store. It looks like this.

T+Y=S

Time (in minutes) at work plus the number of years employed equal the service level score.

Now that you know the service level score you can compare it to this chart and have a realistic expectation regarding the level of service you are going to receive the next time you go shopping.

The obvious question is, “Why would a store do this to its employees knowing the incredibly poor service it produces?” The racket is played because, this may come as a shock to you, but retail stores exist for one reason: to sell stuff. Through years of research they have found the mix of music also has an effect on its customers. I am about to give you the secret code which will transform all future shopping experiences for you. Once you know the influence the music is having on you, you can take measures to protect yourself. Here is the equation:

(T-N)+Sq=R

Time in the store minus the number of items on your list plus the square footage of the store equals your level of resistance to buying stuff you don’t need.

The truth is, our environment affects us. My mental, emotional, and spiritual state can be radically influenced by the content I allow into my life. When I allow negative influences in my life I become a negative person. When I allow positive influences I become hopeful person. Paul says to us in Romans, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (12:2, NIV). I am tempted to make excuses and say it is not really affecting me. Or, since I am a Christian, to say I have attained a level of spiritual maturity such that I am immune. What a bunch of . . .

Today, I want to challenge you to examine your life and find one area pumping negativity in your life and to cut it out for the next week and see the change in your life. It could be the evening news, a radio station, conspiracy theorist blogs, the barely dressed women of Fox News, or any number of other areas. Let’s stop pretending we are immune. We are not. And as Red Green says, “We are all in this together. I’m pulling for you.”

Blessings,
Stephen