Well it has happened again. Another pastor has fallen from their ministry position because of an extramarital affair and apparent struggle with pornography. This time it was Bob Coy from the Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale Church.
I want to say right up front that I have never met Bob Coy and know very, very little about the details of his situation. Since he lives in Florida, and I have never been there, I cannot even say with certainty that he and I have ever been in the same state at the same time.
Mr. Coy is certainly not the first, nor will he likely be the last, leader to be caught in this trap. It does leave us wondering why did this happen? Why didn’t he seek help before everything fell apart? How could he throw away everything so easily? Much has been written in books on why men engage in extramarital affairs and I will not attempt to enter into the psychology of it all here but I do want to drill down one issue. Maybe one reason he failed is because the church became too big, too big for him to fail. At least that is perhaps how it felt. And to some degree it is probably a true statement.
Now before you think this is a statement against large churches, it is not. We all have something in our lives we say is “too big” to risk if we let light shine into our darkness. Don’t we? Our job, marriage, kids, community involvement, reputation, self-esteem, mortgage payment, car payment, vacation plans, career plans, building program, and on and on it goes.
There will always be something. It is part of the lie that satan tells us and we believe. The truth is, it is never as bad as we think and the sooner we deal with things the better. The issues will be bigger tomorrow, today is the day to let light shine into our darkness.
Here are some questions to ponder:
- What steps have I taken in my life to put up boundaries to protect myself against temptation?
- Do I have someone in my life (other than my spouse) that I trust and am accountable to?
- If someone was to come to me with their struggles and darkness, could I be trusted to love them and walk with them or would I tear them down and betray the trust?
Blessings,
Pastor Stephen